i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
