I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
