I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize