Define "chronic" masturbator.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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