I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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