Sry I called you an 8
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
