I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
