he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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