i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
