Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize