im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
