That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
