STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
