I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
