i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
