how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
two words...techno handjob
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
