what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
