Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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