WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
