Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize