I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
