when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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