And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize