Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
