I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
