Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
