thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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