quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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