You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
