He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
