for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
