is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
