Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
