Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
