I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize