he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
