i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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