come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
