Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
