So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize