i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize