Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
