I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
