That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
