ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
