he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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