I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
