I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
