if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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