i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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