Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
