I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
