did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the raccoons are back...
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