Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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