You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
