So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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