how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
