Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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