I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
