he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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