She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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