don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
