just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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