marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
