Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
