Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
