I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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