thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
