he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
