I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
