census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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