But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
