I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
