my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
