This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
As shirtless as possible
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This baby is an asshole
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
