she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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