dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
